


Shana Tovah

by Thistlesweet



Series: Ketzelah [2]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Jewish Character, Jewish Character, Jewish Wanda Maximoff, Rosh HaShana | Jewish New Year, Yiddish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 23:04:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistlesweet/pseuds/Thistlesweet
Summary: What's Kitty doing for Rosh Hashanah? Well, she hasn't made any plans.





	Shana Tovah

“Kitty,” Magneto said, “Do you have anything going for Rosh Hashanah?” 

Kitty had not expected Magneto to be the one calling her. She’d been trying to run history flashcards with Wanda. Trying, because Wanda kept taking breaks to send texts and take phone calls. So Kitty had taken the first phone call she’d gotten. Which she'd assumed would be a telemarketer. But which instead was Magneto. 

Kitty leaned forward on her desk. “How did you get my number?” 

“I tried asking Wanda what you were doing and she said she didn’t know.” 

Kitty covered the mouthpiece of the phone. “Wanda?” 

“Yes, Katya?” Wanda looked up innocently. She’d been scrolling what looked like Natalie Portman’s Instagram feed. Kitty couldn’t blame her. For that, at least. 

“Did Magneto just call you on the phone? Like, was that the phone call you just got?”

“I can hear you, Ketzelah,” said Magneto. “Your hand, it does not muffle anything at all.” 

“Yes,” said Wanda, “he wanted to know what you were doing for Rosh Hashanah.” 

“Tell Wanda I say hello,” Magneto. "And to make sure she gets some vitamin C. She sounds congested." 

“Wanda, Magneto says hello,” said Kitty. “Also, you could have asked me. I was right here.” 

“Why would I tell him your plans, when you could tell him yourself?” Wanda shrugged, not looking up from her phone. 

“So instead you give my phone number to a supervillain? He threw a piece of a suspension bridge at me last Thursday.” 

“Ketzelah, I would not use your phone number for nefarious purposes,” said Magneto. “What, you think I am so much of a schmuck?”

“Okay, fine,” said Kitty. “I don’t know. I think I have class.” 

“Charles has classes on Rosh Hashanah? Now, that is a schmuck,” said Magneto. “Can you take me to him and put me on the speakerphone?” 

“What?” Kitty looked at the ceiling like it would give her backup. “I can’t just walk into Professor X’s office.” 

“Why not? You are his student. He is your teacher. If a teacher is not open to his students, what kind of teacher is this? Ketzelah, listen to me.” 

“Wanda,” said Kitty, “help.” 

“You could have told him you had plans, but no,” said Wanda, “you did not. This is on you.” 

“So I should lie?” said Kitty. “I’m very bad at that.” 

“Your honesty is a credit to our people,” said Magneto. “I’d like to speak with Charles now, please.” 

“He’ll just keep calling,” said Wanda. “You can’t escape this.” 

Kitty stood up, slowly. “Okay. I’m, uh, going upstairs to Professor X’s office.” She paused at the door, shot Wanda a look. Wanda chuckled but didn't look up, and Kitty shut the door behind her. 

“Ketzelah, you’ve been on the official team for six months now. You can’t call him Charles?” 

“I don’t know.” Kitty felt defensive. “I like… uhhh, I don’t know. I call you Magneto.” 

Bobby and Anna Marie looked at her, startled, as she passed them in the hallway. Kitty shrugged and mouthed “I'll explain later.”

“You don’t need to, Ketzelah,” Magneto said. “You can call me Erik.” 

“Uh, that’s okay,” said Kitty.

"Or Zayde," said Magneto, which was even worse. 

She got to the hallway outside the room under Professor X’s office and phased up through the ceiling, quickly, wanting to get this over with. Before she could raise her hand to knock on the door, Professor X called, “Come in, Kitty.”

Kitty opened the door, timidly. Professor X still made her nervous. Honestly, he made her more nervous than Magneto did, probably. She’d seen Magneto drunk on less than a glass of Manischewitz. After that, no matter how many suspension bridge supports someone threw at you, it was hard to be so anxious around them. Professor X, she’d never seen drunk. Even after hearing Magneto’s stories, she couldn’t see him getting his belt loops pulled, or gagging on matzoh. 

“Mag--Uh, Erik is on the phone,” said Kitty. “Sorry.” 

Professor X’s face didn’t register any surprise. Kitty couldn’t be sure whether it was because he’d read her mind already, or whether it was because he just had trained himself not to show emotion in front of students. He was so goyische. 

“All right,” said Professor X, “let’s hear it, then. Take a seat, Kitty” 

Kitty put her phone down on his desk and herself down on the chair sitting across from him. She turned on the speakerphone button. 

“Hello, Erik,” said Professor X. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” 

“Ketzelah here tells me you’re having classes on Rosh Hashanah,” said Magneto. Kitty had to physically restrain herself from physically phasing through her seat and escaping through the chair to the room under Professor X’s office. “If you do, then I will sue. I know a good lawyer.” 

“We know the same lawyer,” said Professor X. “You need to stop threatening me with Matt Murdock every time you hear something about the Academy you don’t particularly like.” 

“I don’t mean Matt Murdock,” said Magneto. “Why would I call him in? He’s a Catholic criminal lawyer. That’s the opposite of what I need. I mean the Hulk.” Ok. If Kitty got nothing else from this whole thing, at least she’d learned what lawyer the X-Men used. 

“The Hulk? I wasn’t aware Bruce Banner was a lawyer.” Professor X smiled at Kitty, as if to say, "I don't blame you for this." 

“No, why would I mean Bruce Banner? The kid couldn’t argue his way out of a paper bag. I mean Jennifer. What, because she is a woman, I call her She-Hulk? No, she’s a Hulk! There’s more than one Hawkeye, why must we only have one Hulk? No! I--” 

Professor X sighed. “Erik, any students who observe Rosh Hashanah can take it off.” 

Kitty was about to say ‘cool, thanks, Sorry professor, bye Magneto,’ but before she could, Magneto interrupted. 

“They can take it off? Charles, I must not be hearing you right over the phone. Do only the students who observe Christmas take it off? Your school has a large Jewish population! Should Ketzelah and the others miss class because of their religious observances? The High Holy Days are an important time of year! In your fight for mutant rights do you forget what other battles your students are fighting?”

Kitty thought “I’M SORRY” as loudly as she could. Professor X nodded at her gently and turned back to the phone. 

“We can discuss this as part of the school schedule for next year.” 

“Would this be next year as in 5780, or 2020-2021?” Magneto was clearly shrugging passive aggressively. “All right, I see you have learned nothing playing chess with me every month for forty years.” 

“I learned that you’re unpredictable, even to me, Erik,” said Professor X. Kitty was pretty sure that was how he flirted. She really hoped it didn’t get any further than that. She also hoped that Professor X had not been reading her thoughts for that particular moment in which she thought that. G-d, that was so weird. It was like her maternal grandfather and paternal grandfather were flirting, and then reading her mind about it. 

“I’m taking Ketzelah out for Rosh Hashanah,” said Magneto. “We can discuss this when I get back.” 

Professor X looked at Kitty. “Well, Kitty, I’ll ensure your teachers all know, and no one will schedule any exams or important project dates.” 

“Thank you,” Kitty squeaked. “Uh, see you Monday, Erik.” 

She hung up before anyone could say anything else. 

“I’ll talk to Wanda about giving out her classmates’ phone numbers without their permission,” Professor X said. 

“Thanks, Professor.” Kitty stayed there for a moment. “Well, I guess I’ll go back to studying for my history test.” 

“Perhaps that’s best,” said Professor X. “Good luck on your exam.” 

Kitty still managed to get outside before phasing through the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea whether there will be another chapter. This might be all there is.


End file.
